On the Subject of Friends

The social scientist in me knows that this is completely impossible, but I'm thinking of cutting my friend group down to those people who I know actually care about me.  I've had more interactions with friends this week than I typically have in a week.  I'm intrigued by the fact that some of the best moments I had with friends have been in the past week, as well as some of the worst.

An awesome friend, my best friend actually, had to endure several days of me venting about another friend.  What makes her my best friend is that when I called and took my frustration with the other friend out on her (and I really did let it all out), she simply listened, agreed, and commiserated with me.  While that is the hallmark of a truly great friend, she even went a step further.  She actually got pissed at the other friend (a mutual friend) for the way the friend was treating me.  I've been reflecting on this support for the past day, and I cannot express how thankful I am to have friends who care deeply about me and about what's going on in my life.  It's also wonderful to have friends who will stand up for you even when you're not willing to stand up for yourself!

I also had a chance to spend two hours reconnecting with a friend this past Thursday.  It never ceases to amaze me that in a matter of mere minutes, my close friends and I can catch up on each others' lives.  That's another hallmark of a great friend: someone who understands you and wants to know what's going on in your life.  It's amazing to me that these people manage to quickly update me on their lives, while simultaneously probing me about my own.  What a way to show friendship!

I've also had the opportunity to pray for a variety of things going on in friends' lives this week.  While this isn't all that amazing as I am glad to do this, several friends have let me know that they're praying for me this week.  I know that I'm truly blessed with great friends when they're taking time to pray for me.  What an amazing way to honor a friend!

So back to my original thought about excising some individuals from my friend group.  I'm thinking that I'm no longer interested in the people who aren't true friends.  I'm wasting my time surrounding myself with people who are not committed to me and who are not willing to respect me as another human being.  Cognitively, I know this isn't possible, but I think it's a great attempt at strengthening current friendships and letting insincere ones die.

Perspective

Recently, I have been feeling depressed about the state of my economy.  I'm currently unemployed (26 tenure track applications and 3 visiting applications) with no apparent prospects.  I have begun to pack some of my belongings as I am selling some of my furniture and I had to move out of my office on campus.  Packing without a clue as to where you are moving is a bit weird.  I think I have a part-time summer job that will at least pay my rent and put food on my table (although not much more than that), but I received my last paycheck on May 8 and I don't know when another is coming.

However, as I walked to the mailbox this afternoon, something happened that completely changed my perspective.  There was a couple, who didn't appear too much older than myself digging through one of the dumpsters in my townhome complex.  As soon as the couple saw me, they made a beeline for their vehicle, so I was not able to see if I could be of help to them.  This encounter made me grateful that I am where I am.  I may not know what the future holds and I may not be financially stable right now, but there are many people in the world who have less than myself.  One might say that my experience this afternoon was a reality check.  I am now much more thankful for what I do have.  Although I'm still worried about the future, I have a new perspective.  I'm also on the lookout for the couple who was digging through our dumpster - maybe I can help them in the future.

The Fragility of Life

A number of recent events have reminded me of the fragility of life and how important it is to maximize the few years we have.  It strikes me that so much of what monopolizes our daily lives is incredibly insignificant in light of the tragedies that surround us.  Further, I am reminded of just how much I take for granted on a daily basis.

The University of Georgia and the Athens community endured quite a shock last weekend at the deaths of three members of the community - allegedly at the hands of a well-respected member of our academic community.  While this serves as a reminder that anyone can take life from us, it also highlighted the sense of insecurity that exists within the world.  As I looked out my office window this week, I witnessed the campus police (armed with AR-15s) patrolling the campus to protect everyone.  I ought not have to live in a society that needs this type of protection.  Life is something to be cherished; it shouldn't need this type of protection.

I found out this morning that a fellow former camp counselor was apparently murdered by her husband this week.  While the events of last weekend are saddening, they didn't touch me like Micah's death did.  Someone who I knew, whose family I know, who I spent summers with for a few years, who was an incredible person is gone.  We don't know why.  All that's left to do is grieve and question.  I shouldn't have to experience this.  Acts such as these shouldn't happen to people I know; they value life.  Micah's family and friends shouldn't have to go through this.  No one should.  Why can't everyone share the same value for life?

A few moments ago, I heard an accident at the intersection next to my home.  I looked out the window to see a SUV laying on it's side in the middle of the intersection.  While I don't believe anyone was seriously injured, it's clear that we can't control what happens to us.  Accidents happen.  Death happens.  Life is fragile, which means that we are fragile.  I am fragile, yet I don't want to accept it.

My final thought - LIVE LIFE!  It's all we can do.